Wanting to have sex with another human being and not being a twat about it.

Hit that. Tap that. Smash that. Break that. - Why can't they use "I'd like to put my penis in her".

It would make being hit on much more funny. Instead of the twists and turns and the "Is he flirting?" "Is she flirting" much more bearable.

Imagine:

 "At some time this evening after our brief encounter I would like to put my penis in you, is that ok?"
-- "No, I am engaged to be married and only have love in my life for one penis, thank you for asking though"

Or for the 'interested in you' response:

"Oh yes, I would like very much for your penis to enter into my vagina, thank you for being so polite and direct and not being a sleaze ball by describing sexual activity as something painful and harmful when actually, it's quite fun".

Self de/ap preciation.

Today I realised for 70% of my independent life I did not think I was worth talking about.

Why fast food "restaurants" should deliver:

Let all the lazy people stay indoors, then maybe when I have to rush around town they won't be standing in my way moving snail paced with a maccy d's bag in one hand and a phone in the other and a look of confusion as in their absent state they almost eat the McDonalds bag as they have no notion that their hands can do something other than hold and work a mobile phone.

And I might be able to get served and KFC quicker, without the blank faces staring back at me from behind the counter as they have just had to encounter a family of 10 arguing about what they want to stuff down their faces as they have no knowledge of how to cook even the most basic of chicken nugget and chip dinners. As they shout at the employee who is getting more and more frustrated as she knows they want the largest family bucket of food available, they always do, trying to hide the pity in her eyes as their children have never even so much heard of peas. 

It's been a productive work day...

It's 2014

Wow! I hear you all exclaim.   It's 2014 mother fuckers!!!  Yeeah.  Along with this new year comes new years resolutions.

Jokes such as "today is the hottest day of the year so far" and other such nonsense.  I like new years and welcoming in the next stage of my life and wishing people well whoen I wouldn't normally have anything to say to them, but I don't think that the beginning of the year should be a time to decide one needs to change their lifestyle.

Life is ever changing as are we the people living it. We constantly change what we do depending on who we are on that day.

I was proud of myself in 2013 for making it to September before the exercising stopped. I shouldn't be proud of that being an achievement.  I love exercising when it's in the form of swimming. .. why on earth did I stop? Why should it being January mean I need to start again?  I need to start exercising again so that when I have to do that breakneck speed running to catch the bus in the morning so I'm not late for work, I don't jump onto the bus panting and sweating after the expelling of energy for 10 metres For wwhich I'd normally stroll.

I think everyone's new year's resolutions should be to keep doing what it is you've been doing the last few years as long as that's what makes you happy and keeps you healthy.

And in the words of my mate: my new year's resolution this year is the same as last years, to not die, so far so good.

If 2014 is even half as fun as 2013... I'm in for a great year.  X

Blog World

Hello world.

It has been a long time since I started to blog - so long, that I deleted my old blog so that no body would stumble upon it. It was depressing, it was terrifying, and I didn't say anything I wanted to say just incase someone saw it that I didn't want to see it. I don't want that to happen any more.

Blogs are strange, they start out with such meaning, and they end up with a lot of repetetive warble.

I like to warble and ramble and bimble. Which brings me to an important question - What is the difference between pootling and bimbling?

I like to pootle, but how often do I actually pootle, when I think I am pootling, am I bimbling?

Anyone...